the words

They say the words will just come
but i have to tell you they feel pretty stuck
stuck in lies
things i thought you had to know
in the end
not so
not so much
you ask me what i see
two kids
two kids caught up in eachother
i feel a crystal ball i have bribed stick in my mouth
i am ashamed of what i have done
i cannot write beauty into this
i wont write out the mistake

out of the light like ariadne, like helen, or how the great city fell to it's knees

It is the time of night where it will cling to me
search
search by candlelight
for the extension
of the other's
of eachother's
body
dig wormholes through cotton
burrow up and out
break open the blinds
arrive
half hearted
and weary
your fingers will unlace the stitching
not too fast
i am a latecomer to such romps
silicone sheets
linen drawers
you know you had me at “ok”
no need for ornamentation of your body
or of my own
search me out and you will find me dripping with wax and gentleness
i will tell you yes
take it
take it all away
i cannot look at it anymore
i can barely see

rose coloured glasses he lovingly placed upon her face

it is all whiffs and scents and blurs of colour and sadness
she has painted herself like a saint against the stained glass of his iris, but he finds that he can no longer believe

she's not listening

she hated the way you never knew anything about arbus
or the way a glance can change the room
that the idea of making a home filled you with regret and not with joy
that you didn't see the value of a quiet pot of flowers breathing on the sill
or the way coconut milk floods a space with home
she hated the way you spoke only with periods
and the way the next page seemed like a logical suite
how you didn't see that softness
or the brush of a finger
made the whole day disappear

the cat and the fox

aluminum thought he would catch it from plutonium
and plutonium thought it belonged to calcium
the dog told the cat that they couldn’t see each other anymore
it was too risky
the fox under the chain link fence slipped out protective gloves and tied his long red beard tightly to his body
coated himself with tape
the steps of the periodic table shivered then fell
elements
in the elements
rain made them corrode
zinc had to go home
the fox killed his young
none of them would touch each other
they stayed
in opposite corners of this far wide open globe
of this home
no table
no levels
no control
no continent line that could tell them they did not belong
they belonged to the earth and the sea
and those things can kill you know?
they stayed and waited
hoping for a reordering
for an omission of the things which had made them great and then thrust them to the floor with lust and anger
“we shouldn’t have done that” said the fox
“I’ve lost my only friends” said the plutonium
“my home…my life…the birds” said the cat
the world was wide, wet and scary
and they hid and they hid
clinging to clues like a ventriloquist in an audience of poker face
like a doctor scared of his patients
like those who think they will die soon, very soon
until they realized the only disease was in their mind

petals

did you know i wanted to be a petal?
my heart opening and closing with the weather
need become reclusion, become need
welcome
i want to be so skinny my bones make you cry
i want my hair cropped so short they all think im a boy
i want it to be a surprise
the crease of fabrics carry the scent of giving it all away
i want to give it all to you
without losing my own memories, my own bodily functions
did you know that i dreamt i was a petal?

a: petals
b: hanging petals
a: boxes, overflowing boxes…
b: of gardenias
a: it smells like tomorrow
b: i don’t believe in the past
a: i know
b: i don’t know anything about you
a: plant the flowers, plant the flowers
b: plant me, plant me
a: and if i told you
b: told me…
a: the meaning of the metaphor
b: I’d rather not know, i belive in aestheticism, not meaning
a: i’m so thin now
b: orange blossoms to your hipbones
a: too simple…try again
b: “you’re the one that I’ve kept closest”
a: that’s plagarism…but i know…and you’re right
b: one day we’ll have a garden, and a house
a: and a life full of gardenias, full of petals…

worldviews

A: every time I wake up I’m angry that this had to happen to me
B: that what had to happen to you?
A: its always like this, like getting ripped
B: away from?
A: with and maybe away
B: its like the womb
A: the womb?
B: think about how strange that word is
A: wooooooomb laughs
B: what else is spelt like that?
A: what time do you have to go?
B: soon i think, very sooon
A: what does his face remind you of
B: placenta
A: and blood
B: everything is always red
A: how often do you go?
B: he is angry very angry
A: does he feel lost?
B: no he feels departed, he feels split
A: its all a splitting isn’t it?
B: what is?
A: the world into views?
B: and the tower?
A: I don’t believe in building towers, you have to lay the groundwork and I don’t know how
B: is that what makes you angry?
A: groundwork? no. more like laziness
B: then couldn’t you stop being angry?
A: I don’t know what happens between here and there.
B: isn’t that the point? I think that’s the point
A: he wants a tower, I don’t have one to give
B: is that supposed to be a homosexual reference? laughs
A: no.
B: sorry
A: its like an analogy of a cup
B: I don’t know what that means
A: a cup
B: what sort of cup
A: a cup that drops out and refills
B: oh, is that your worldview?
A: i don’t like worldviews, they’re too divisive. its violent almo...